I wrote this poem back in March 2017, it’s one of my favourites and was inspired by someone I once knew.
My days are empty
They are devoid of meaning
But one day I told myself, what is there really to lose?
So I asked you to come and meet me, by the tube station, next to the greenery, at noon
When you walked up to me, dimples deep and beaming
and asked me how I was doing,
I couldn’t help but look up
and smile with all my might and feeling
I’m glorious I said, how are you, where do you plan on going?
Let’s not go too far, you say
How about that park over there?
I nod silently, let you take my hand, and finally lead the way
I haven’t seen you in so long, you look amazing, I’m sorry I’ve never said it more
It’s ok, don’t worry, it’s not like we’ve met like this many times before
But we should, you say, with no explanation given
But your eyes tell me something, and I wonder if there are any feelings you keep hidden
I’ve missed you, you say, and I return with a smile, you too
Why don’t we lie on the grass, and you can tell me what you’ve been up to, from your art to the new you
The sky goes dark, as we make our way down to the grass
But your laughter
It breaks through the clouds surrounding my heart
And for a moment,
I am reminded of the time
When we first met,
in the tall glass building
when everything was brand new
I was nineteen, and confused
You wondered in,
through an unknown door
Eighteen and cool
And that was it,
you were all I saw.
You glanced at me,
And I withdrew.
Like ancient souls, in love
Now you’ve grown and as we lie here
All I can do, is look at you, as my words float away
Your smile, it is sunlight through layers of grey
I have no idea what I’m saying, but what does it matter anyway
If I look at you any longer, I’m sure you’ll know
The things that my words do not convey
Everything I wish for, but cannot say
I feel alive again, but you don’t see
because I hide it so well
You’ll never know
You could never tell
Of all the nights I couldn’t sleep
After those rare occasions, when we’d meet
And discuss all the possibilities of our future selves
The tales of all the people you planned to save and help
Me and my writing, the stories I hoped to create for endless shelves
And then you would leave, and you would always remain
blissfully unaware of everything you meant
to my present
I can feel your warm hands in my cold ones
And this feeling, it’s unknown to me
But I wish I could hold onto it forever because I know this is it,
this is what will save me.
And even though I know it’s momentary,
that we will soon part
and that this will all be a distant memory
Seeing you again, after so many years, has made me realise
the darkness that I sit upon everyday
Will always be there
As long as you and I remain apart.
So I suggest it, once more, let’s see each other again, I say
Meet me on the third Saturday of March
Under the long stemmed tree, in the corner of Hyde Park
Where we can lie on the grass and catch up like old friends,
And pretend like there’s nothing between us,
over and over again.